Typical argument against feminism #1: Flirting is over.

Photo from everydayfeminism.com

A male friend once said this to me. In fact, that evening was quite shocking. Some people I usually go out with started spitting out all sort of things against “modern” feminism. “Do I really know these people?”, I thought. I couldn’t believe it.

As for flirting, let’s consider the situation of a man in a party. He wants to approach a woman he doesn’t know, just because he thinks she’s pretty, or because her gestures are charming, or because she exudes confidence. So he asks her something or makes a flattering comment.

What are the consequences for these two people?

1) The man.

a. The woman offers a positive response and he’s consequently successful, at least at the moment of the approach.

b. The woman refuses his offer and he feels bad. He can either think that it was a risk and a part of the game, or he can blame the woman, which is not uncommon, and think she’s a bitch – for going out with other men who are not himself.

2) The woman.

a. Maybe she likes this type of encounters and she reacts positively. She perceives it as a magical / spontaneous moment, or she just enjoys casual sex, or whatever.

b. She doesn’t know the man and maybe she doesn’t like the first impression he gives, his appearance, his gestures, or whatever. She may find it uncomfortable that a boy she doesn’t even know is trying to share moments of intimacy with her. She doesn’t know if she can trust him, maybe he could have bad intentions too.

So feminists just want to show, I think, that girls can react in a variety of ways, based on certain decisions which are as valid as those of men.

The world does not revolve only around men’s needs. Hey! Women want to be treated like humans too. That’s the “radical view” that feminists defend.